ex-pec-ta-tion (noun)
1. anticipation of something happening: a confident belief or strong hope that a particular event will happen (Encarta 2009)
To be honest, I’m not sure what to expect with this experience. Where will I go after training? Not sure. Who will I meet there? I have no idea. How will I live? I have surmising asumptions, but everything else remains nebulous.
However, I do have some concrete expectations – confident beliefs or strong hopes, if you will – that I’m pretty sure I will encounter and have to grapple with over the next year. I can feel God preparing me to be molded; I am continually called to remain steadfast in my convictions while shedding layers of myself that were once parts of my broken worldly identity. So here are some things I’m sure about, things that inspire me to be confident and hopeful for the experience ahead of me:
1) I expect to be changed (2 Cor. 3:16-18)
My time in Korea left indelible marks all over my soul; God stripped away everything I was clinging to for my earthly stability until there were only 2 of us left in the room. Truths that I had once “accepted” became living experiences of God’s active presence in my life. My walk was transformed from knowing doctrine to knowing Him. He was (and still is) as real to me as another human sitting across from me. My veil was removed, and God became real to me. I talked to Him when I was doing my laundry and He came with me when I was catching the 5535 bus to Nangok-sageori. Through the Novas Project I anticipate (and confidently hope) that He will get me alone again, that by being helpless and in a foreign place I will once again cling so closely to Him, and through that experience I will be transformed more and more to rely on Him solely. Change is painful, but it is good.
2) I expect to form deep relationships with people I meet (Ephesians 4:1-6)
It is my genuine prayer that deep relational bonds would be formed between myself and my team members through the next year. I pray that we would see beyond ourselves to the work which He has called us to take part in for His glory. I pray that we would be vulnerable and honest with one another, and love each other not just “in word or talk but in deed and truth” (1 John 3:18). And finally I pray that we would connect with the people we serve, that they would not just be a face or a name but that we would see them as a child of God, not defined by their need or circumstance, but by their inherent worth in the eyes of God.
3) I expect to see God working (Isaiah 43:19-21; Psalm 19)
It’s not that God isn’t working in my midst right now. But I expect to see Him working. The thing that changes is not God; it is my perspective, my angle, my view. I want to see God from every angle, and that requires changing my vantage point. I must be challenged, stretched and humbled to bring myself to a place where I yearn to see God. His works are glorious, and I want to be a witness.
All of these things I confidently believe will occur. It will not be without cost. It will not be without reward.
